Yeah, it's my birthday. And I am excited, but really, it's just another day in my life. One that will be better as soon as Reagan can articulate and say "happy birthday momma." Brian and I are going to the Alahambra Dinner Theater tonight where they are doing The Sound of Music. So that should be fun. He bought me a new bathing suit for my big present, boy did they go up in price! I guess I haven't bought a new one in like 3 years. I also got a carrot cake and flower this morning so that was a nice suprise.
So glad that Cris is now a blogger. You know her stories are second to none!
Here are my deep thoughs about motherhood for the day. Sometimes I just don't feel like I was meant to do this. (please take that with a grain of salt and assume I am over exagerating) Reagan just keeps getting sick and I keep losing sleep and I don't like to lose sleep. I need sleep!!!! I really lose my patience with her when I am sleep deprived and then I feel so guilty for wishing I could tell her to SHUT UP, eventhough I don't. I just hate feeling less than love for her. Most of the time, only love, but when lack of sleep is involved it can get pretty scary. I just am so looking foward to our girls weekend so I can sleep, without being 1/2 awake and listening to the monitor all night.
Cheers
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1 comment:
First of all - I really wish that you felt that your birthday was a little more than - JUST another day...think about what Reagan's birthday means to YOU! Birthday's take on a whole new meaning after giving birth!
Anyway - I'm really glad that you feel comfortable enough to share your "insecure momma" emotions with us. I'm sure it's harder to understand until you have kids - and Loki and I still have a few milestones to work through ourselves - but I totally know what you mean. I think that overall, we're still in the "honeymoon" phase - the one where EVERY single smile just puts me OVER the moon but there are still tearful times when I have NO idea what to do and I wonder if he'll ever turn out OK.
I haven't had to deal with sickness, yet (both my fingers and toes are crossed and I'm knocking on wood, as I say a silent prayer to the gods of EVERY denomination) but I just know it's going to break my hear.
I know you weren't fishing for compliments but - you KNOW you're doing a GREAT job. Reagan is SMART, BEAUTIFUL and TOUGH. She's a SUPER trooper and you're General MOM! Hang tough, birthday girl! I admire your Mommy style!!!
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