If I could turn back time..... (this is really long)

If I could, I would go back to well before 9/20/04. That is the day that I got the call that would change my life FOREVER. (disclaimer: If you haven't heard this story before, grab a box of tissues). Brian and I were sitting on the couch, watching TV. The phone rang and I could see it was Hagerstown, so I knew it was my step-mom. I knew my dad was on his Boundry Waters trip. So, I wondered why Carol was calling so late (it was 9:20pm). I answered and Carol said "Hi Katie, is Brian there?" I said "You sound like you have a cold" and she said "yeah, I am fighting something." I gave the phone to Brian, all the while wondering why she needed to talk to him. Moments later, I knew something was wrong by the look on his face and he mouthed "it's your dad." He handed me the phone and from then on I think I cried for the next few months. Carol said she had wanted to make sure that Brian would be there for me when she told me what she needed to tell me. She said that my Aunt Pam and Grammy had come over and that they had been called by my dad's best friend, Scott, and that Scott told them that my dad had an accident. So I said "What kinda accident" and Carol explained that from what she understands, my dad had a stroke or something and passed out and fell out of the canoe and they can't find him. I don't remember much more except for screaming and falling on the floor and screaming and crying and screaming and crying. I knew Beth hadn't been told, so I knew we needed to get to my Mom's house. All I could say was "oh my God, oh my God, oh my God" and "I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do" over and over. Somehow, Brian got me in the car and we went to my Mom's house. Because it was so late, their house was all locked up and I had to bang on the back door. When Hal came to the door, I remember just screaming, "They think my Dad is dead" and my mom came running from the other room. I guess I must have told them the story or Brian did, I don't know. But my Mom called my Dad's house and I think talked to my Aunt Pam and she explained the rest and that they hadn't told Beth. So, then my Mom took it upon herself to try to tell Beth. They knew she was home, but she was all alone and they didn't want to tell her by herself. Mike was at a hotel for work about ?2? hours away and they couldn't get him. Finally, my mom got the desk clerk who knew Mike to go to the bar that he was at and tell him to call my mom (at least this is how I think it went down). Then Mike called his best friend, who is a cop and a good friend of Beth's as well and he went over to Beth's house and when he got there, he told Beth to call my mom and she told her. Mike left and drove home to be with Beth. I just remember calling everyone and asking them to pray for my Dad and to pray that he was still alive. My mom was worried that I was freaking out so she called a friend of hers to bring over some Zanax or something like that but I refused to take anything. I remember just pacing around her house and crying and then I had this enormous need to have a picture of him. So I went through my baby books and found a picture of him playing the guitar and me watching. I just held that picture for days, I couldn't let go of it. I don't remember going back home or going to sleep or getting a plane ticket or a lot else. I remember the next day I went to the shop and Stephanie came over so I could show her how to run the shop. I remember calling a minister friend of mine to come over and pray with us. I remember making a diaper cake for a shower that was for a friend of mine over the weekend at the shop. I remember going through that day in a haze and just believing that they would find him alive. Then, we are at home, standing in the driveway and I call Carol to find out if they knew anything and I think it was Beth who told me they found his body and he wasn't alive. I think for some reason she assumed I already knew that. But I lost it! I truly had thought that he was alive just laying on some island somewhere. The next morning I flew to Maryland. I remember being in the house, so upset. So devastated. But there were all these people there, just helping and getting in the way and it was stressing me out. Apparently, at one point, I just yelled "Everyone needs to leave so we can be with our family." I don't care if it was rude, it needed to be done. My step-mom's friend, Gail, was helping us return phone calls and writing down who brought what and so on. She had received a call from the local news station and they said they wanted to do a memorial story on our dad. Gail had asked us and at first we said no. Then they said that we could just write a statement and then we said yes. So, this total douche bag, Victor Blackwell, comes over to our house with a video camera and we give him the statement and he says "Would it be ok if we just got some video of someone?" and we say "no" then he asks if they can just film some empty rooms at the house, for affect and we say no and get pissed and basically kick him out of our house. (After that, people told us that they called his boss and told him what a douche he had been. Now the douche works here in Jacksonville, how funny is that. I sent him an email telling him what an ass I thought he was and now that he is in my town, he better not do anything like that again.) I'm exhausted and I think I will finish this later.