So this is how I feel--can I pull the blanket over my head?!?!?
There is really no good news here. As you all know, I unexpectedly lost my job last Monday and I am still in shock. I have cried, been pissed off and hit a pillow! We officially lost the house as we don't qualify for the financing. I removed Rebecca from day care so now I am a stay at home mom looking for a job. It is really hard to find adequate time to search for a job while taking care of her.
I know all the optimists have told me it will be ok but today I am really sad and pissed at the same time. We were supposed to close on the house today. We were 8 days away from the life I have worked so hard for--we had exactly what I wanted for Rebecca and now it just seems so far away and unattainable to me. I just feel like a 34 1/2 year old failure as I still can't get my sh!t together. I have this feeling of guilt in relation to Sean as I made his personal dream disappear. That eats at me daily. I hate the fact that he had to suffer.
My parents are still coming to see Becca and allow me to search for a job during the day so that will be nice. As for the future, Sean and I have decided to limit my job search to Florida as we are both licensed if I decide or have to practice law. It would be nice to get out of S. Fl but Sean loves his job and I would hate for him to loose that considering it took him so long to find a job he loves.
The decisions we have to make are huge and I want to pull the blanket over my head!
1 comment:
I hope your visit goes great with your family. In the grand scheme of things this is not the end...just the beginning. I promise it will all work out and you will look back and say "what was I worried about?". You need to change the way you think about it...all about attitude T and its up to you to make it a good day not anyone else. You have gotten through other difficult times so, this is no different. You and Sean need to lean on each other to get through this...I have faith that you can!!!
Love you xoxo
krames
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