Today marks 5 years since we lost my Dad. I have tried to keep myself busy, but I keep thinking about it. I miss him everyday, but the "special" days make it even harder. I know I have said that 100 times, sorry. I wish he was here to see Reagan and laugh with her and to agree with me that she is a "genius." I wish he was here to see the new studio, I know he is proud.
On a brighter note, look at what our family has done over the last 5 years:
I got engaged, then married
Beth got engaged, then married
Sarah graduated from high school and started college
I had Reagan
I bought and opened the second studio
All of this without him, but all of it because of him. Because of the guidance and structure and love that he gave us. Because of the values and morals that he taught us. But most of all, because he taught us how to laugh. I know I have said it before, but almost everyday, I am sitting in my car and an old song will come on and I can almost hear him singing in my head. It makes my heart happy, but then it makes me laugh. Because, sometimes when he would sing, he would do it in this goofy way and we would just laugh (or as teenagers, say "Daaaaaaddddd"). When he would really sing, he had an amazing voice and I wish he was here to sing to Reagan. One of the hardest parts about not having him here with me, is not getting to "hear" him. I miss his voice, I miss his laugh, I just miss him. Carol told me today that she is turning off the answering machine that has his voice on it. I know it's time, it's been time, but I will really miss calling just to "hear his voice." She made me a copy and it's in the mail, but it won't be the same. Sometimes when I would call and get the machine, it would take me a minute to realize that he wasn't actually going to pick up the phone or call me back. It's been 5 years, it's time.
3 comments:
I thought about you all day yesterday. I hope you got my card in mail. It is so hard to believe it has been 5 years. I am sure some days it feels like it has been forever since you have seen him and others it it is hard to believe that much time has passed. At least that is how it is for me. I am sending you a big hug. I understand what you are saying about voice...I so wish I had something that has my Mom's voice on it. We just recently cleared out Mom's closet at my Dad's. It was time like you said...I know most people might wonder why we waited so long. But,one doesnt get it until you live it. I am sending you all my love and hugs. You have accomplished so much Katie...you truly are his legacy and he "is" so very proud of you!!!! What a tribute you give your Dad everyday. You are someone to be admired...I admire and love you! xoxox miss you. -Kater
I just want to say I love you both and wish I could give you hugs.
I cried reading this...granted I was also nursing Elora and my emotions are little wacky while nursing, but they are real!
I can't imagine the heart break you and Krames have endured.
We love you both dearly!
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