Confessions of a Blog Addict

My name is Howie (or rather Anonymous - if you consider my Blog Profile when (and IF) I reply to Blog Postings)...and I AM a Blog-a-holic!

There I said it. I LOVE to read Blogs. I take 5 or 10 minute breaks during the work day to check to see if my favorite blogs have been updated recently. I got started with MOM blogs, mostly because I really had no idea what I was doing and I was curious to know if anyone else felt the same. Well, one blog ALWAYS leads to another in the form of a post or a link and I somehow started reading TRAGIC Mom blogs. You can EASILY spot the TRAGIC Mom blogs because they are usually posted on regular blogs on the side bar with a square button with cute graphics that always say, "Pray for (insert child's name)".

WARNING: Turner - STOP HERE - don't read any further until after your sweet HEALTHY pumpkin is born...

These were the type of blogs where the baby was born with rare skin diseases, rapid heart rates, underdeveloped lungs or some other odd affliction that no child should be subject to. But there are also blogs out there of women who have discovered that their child in utero may not survive life outside the womb.

After discovering at Loki's 20 week ultra-sound that he may, in fact, have Trisomy 13 - I feel like I can relate to some extent to the torment these women feel. Certainly we only experienced it for a couple of weeks, but the roller coaster of emotions was like nothing I have ever known ~ and I've been in some pretty emotional situations (loss of friends/family, living in Zambia, getting married (lol)...) But nothing compares to the thought of losing your unborn child (except maybe losing your unborn child OR actually losing a child).

We were told that we would have a lot of decisions to make moving forward if, in fact, Loki did have Trisomy 13. The survivale rate of Trisomy 13 babies is low, and the life expectancy for those that do survive is nominal - hours to maybe days and rarely, weeks. There hadn't even been a confirmed diagnosis, yet, and we were already being encouraged to abort. It was a NIGHTMARE!

In those two weeks, we tried not to think about much (which of course, is impossible). Would we abort, would we not? I couldn't wrap my head around it all.

I have recently discovered a support group for woman who decide to carry their tragically diagnosed children to term. It's called String Of Pearls. I actually discovered it earlier in my pregnancy with Evie and I literaly SOBBED as I read through the site and thought about having to cope with a similar situation.

So, as you can see, I'd become a little OVER involved...And JUST as I realized that I should STOP - I came across one more blog. This time, it was the story of an unmarried Christian woman who, in one night of passion with a "friend", became pregnant with April - a Trisomy 13 baby she had decided to carry to term. I didn't discover the blog, until April was nearly due. And while I followed it, I didn't always read it that closely. It was a rather religious blog - and while I consider myself spiritual, alot of the God talk turned me off. But I am a pray-er, and as her due date approached, I did find myself occassionally saying a little prayer to comfort April's mother through all of this.

Well, the baby was born ALIVE, and I was thrilled but nervous...and the next day, when I went to check on everyone's status - the blog had disappeared. I had known that the author was getting alot of hate mail; comments insinuating that she wasn't really pregnant and had fabricated the whole thing. But it was a WELL followed blog, and those things happen to people who open themselves up to the world. What I didn't realize, was that the nay-sayyers were RIGHT. It turns out the whole thing was a SCAM. The Chicago Tribune even printed a story about it!

Many of the followers have commented on their frustrations of becoming so emotionally involved and having been "duped". I'm not sure how I feel. I wasn't really emotionally involved. And like I said, I've been following ALOT of blogs lately ~ and while I presume they are real, I wouldn't be surprised if there are others out there that aren't. I don't follow them because I expect them to be TRUE, to be REAL, or to be HONEST. I follow them because they're an escape - fun stories about people's lives. Usually, they're people I don't know. It's like reading a mini-novella. When I pick up a good book at home, the story becomes VERY real to me, but when it's over and I close the book and check back into my own reality - the world of fictions fades into the background.

Anyway, this blog is a little different, in that we are all connected at a level that is much more personal than random blog followers and that's cool, too. Maybe I need to stick to just reading about the lives of people I KNOW or better, yet, maybe I should focus on living MY life instead of living vicariously through the blogs of others... :)

Either way, I'm happy we do this - Thanks, Gang!!!